Who’s The Boss?

Pastors Les and Luz Quiñones talk about the roles in a marriage.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey, what's up, everybody? God bless. And you made it to week three. That's crazy. I know we said don't trust us, but we seem to be looking like we're reliable with this power. For now. For now. God bless everybody. This is Pastor Les, and always with my beautiful wife, Pastor Luce.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

And this is Talking with a Purpose.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Wow, talking with Purpose. We talk with a purpose here. Anyway, babe, what are we going to talk about today? Can you please let them know?

SPEAKER_04 0:37

Who's the boss?

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Today's episode is gonna be Who is the boss? Right? Babe, continue, please. And when I do that, that means she's taking the lead because I didn't have time.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

Clearly, Pastor Les is not the boss.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Clearly, Pastor Les right now is not the boss of this episode of the podcast. Go ahead, man.

SPEAKER_04 1:03

Oh man. So we want to talk about the reason why we titled it Who's the Boss, right? Is because I feel like in a marriage, like that's a question that people genuinely ask, is like, who's the boss, right? And so let's talk about it. Let's talk about marriage. Let's talk about um positions, right? And uh who is the boss?

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Who is the boss? Well, I'll tell you what, guys. Here you go. In my house. When I throw these on, I mean business. When I throw these on, Pastor Luce knows, there goes Dwayne The Rock Johnson Jr. And I will listen and obey to everything that man has to say. In my house, I'm the boss. There's no boss above me. My wife showers when I allow her to. She does as she is told in the Cunones household. And I can take these off so we can continue the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 2:25

That's news to me. Guys. But nonetheless, um, being the boss, right, or being the leader, being the head for a man is not about control, right? Um, it's it's about the man, right, knowing how to lead. But it also comes from the wood the wooden. I was about to say wooden. The woman knowing how to submit.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

That's right, babe. That's such a good point. But can I add that um it's not always easy for the man to take the lead, especially when he doesn't know how a lead looks like.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Agreed.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

He doesn't know how a leader, excuse me, looks like. There could be a man that was in a fatherless home. He knows how a single mother looks.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Right.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

He knows the grind of a single mother, but he won't know the grind of a man, a father, who's the provider for the household. And for a man like that, that transition could be difficult. So we could touch on that too a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

And but it also goes with the woman, right? Right, yes. Like I grew up with my mom, um, she was a single parent, and so my dad really wasn't in my life like that, you know? And so I didn't know what it was to submit to your husband, right? As a wife. And when I say the word submit, like, I don't mean uh, hey, what am I supposed to do today? Would you like me to wash your clothes? Right. Would you like me to rub your feet? Like, no, that's not what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03 4:09

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 4:10

I'm talking about submit in the sense of I know that my husband hears from God. I know that he is going to do what God told him to do, right? And I also know that he is the spiritual headship of the house, right? And so when we talk about who's the boss, it's not about um dominion. Because I feel like a lot of people in a marriage, when you tell them, like, oh, the the man is the head of the house, immediately it comes from a place of like dominion, like he's he's above me, right? And I'm speaking from the woman's perspective, right? But as I tell any couple that we counsel, God did not make us from uh from your feet, right? He didn't take your big toe and was like, Oh, I'm gonna make the woman. No, he took us from your rib, right, from your side, and so we are to be your help mate, like the the Hebrew word literally means help me, like it's helper, right? And so we weren't made above you, but we also weren't made beneath you, right? We were made to help you, to support you, you know. Oh my god, here you go. Even though are you gonna put those on every time you talk?

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Every no, every time I got a point to make about the authority and the boss shape of a man, even though God should have made them from the soles of our feet.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

So he can step all over the control and be the man that we were created to be.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

Get out of here. He don't mean that.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Of course I don't mean that. I'm playing guys.

SPEAKER_04 5:52

He's being silly. He'd be extra silly today. I want you to tell me what you feel the role of a man is, regardless of whether they're a believer or not.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Well, first of all, the man should know that he's a provider. Um and you know what? That's instilled everywhere. That's found everywhere. The church tells you that. Um I feel that a man, whether he's a believer or not, he should know that his role is to provide for those that he stewards that he's over. So the man is a provider. Now, I want to add this though, babe. When it comes to providing, I don't want you to jump right to finances.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Because that's not the only thing a man is supposed to provide in a household. We provide love, care, um. There's so many other umbrellas under the umbrella of provider that we tend to skip because we've so focused on, oh, a man got to go out there and work for his for his family. Yes, he does. But if a man just focuses on providing and those other areas are not met, then the household is in shambles.

SPEAKER_04 7:26

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

The household cannot stand because the man is only focused on the financial part of providing for the family when he has a wife who needs him by his side, emotional support. The kids need a father to raise them. You know, if you're only focused on providing and you're out there working hours a day, your kids don't really see you, then all you're providing is financial needs, but you're not providing emotional needs, which are more important.

SPEAKER_04 7:56

Agree. And it's so hard because like the society tells you that that's the role of a man, right? Is to is to provide. Like it's it's something that people even say, Well, you know, my husband pays everything, okay, and you know what I'm saying? Like, does he go to your kids' events? You know what I'm saying? Does does he provide you emotional support? Like, I literally told you today, like I was talking to Pastor Les earlier, and we were talking about we were just talking about things that are going on in our life, but I told him, um, I said, I can't imagine life without you, you know, and the reason why I say that is because I know what it's like to be a single parent, right? For those of you that don't know, like my older boys technically are not his kids, right? Like we we when we got married, I had two boys, and so I know what it's like to be without a husband, right, without a man. And so having you is more than just money, it's more than just a paycheck, it's that emotional support that I know, regardless of what I'm going through, regardless of what I feel, it's so nice to know that I can come to you, right? And just whatever. Like the other day, I had a really bad day. And I said, What did I say to you?

SPEAKER_03 9:18

I just needed to hug you.

SPEAKER_04 9:19

That's it. Like, I literally came up to him and he's like, What happened? And I was like, I just need a hug. I said, Hold me. And he just helped and he just hugged me. That's it, and that was enough for me. You know what I mean? Like, so it goes, it goes so much more than just providing, especially from the woman's perspective. Like, yeah, it's cool you bring home a paycheck, but I need more than that.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Right. What good is bringing home a paycheck when all the other important areas in the family structure are all missing. And if the provider, which is the man, cannot provide nothing but financial, then the house, the house is just out of order.

SPEAKER_04 10:00

Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

It's out of order.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

And biblically, um, you guys can look it up. I'm not gonna read the verse. First Corinthians 11 3, it talks about the order, right? And we talked about this in the marriage conference that we had, right? First comes God.

SPEAKER_03 10:14

Right.

SPEAKER_04 10:15

Right? Then it's Christ, then it's man, and then it's woman.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

Right.

SPEAKER_04 10:20

Right? And so whether you're and I say whether you're a believer or not, because I know people that watch this podcast, not everyone is a believer, and that and that's cool, right? Right? But for us, right, like Les's head is is Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:36

Right? And so because his head is Jesus, when Les tells me God said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I gotta be like, all right. Whether I believe it or not, right? Because there's been times where he says something, I'm like, oh, I'm doing it because you said God said, but I ain't sure.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

And then it happens. She skipped that part. Then it happens. Then it happens, and she, what? Not a people, bro. Bro. You blown spot. Not a people. Not all the time, no.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

No, I will admit what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Yeah, yeah. Not all the time. Not all the time. She be. And I gotta let it ride. You know how it. I know, y'all know what I'm talking about, fellas. Y'all just, y'all let it ride. Oh, okay, fine. I already know that she knows she could have said, Babe, you was right, man.

SPEAKER_04 11:31

I care what you. So, why do you think the Bible says for the man to love their wife as Christ loved the church?

SPEAKER_02 11:41

Well, because there's no love like that. That's the example of what love is. Like that's good. Think about this. There is no love like the love that Christ has for the church. Why? Because he died for the church. So, in other words, the Bible's telling you, yo, you gotta be willing to die for your wife, but not physical death. Die to your pride, to your ego, die to yourself, neglect yourself in order to show her that you love her the way Christ loves the body of Christ.

SPEAKER_04 12:22

I agree. That was good. So going back to Genesis, right? When here he goes with the glasses. When you're talking about when God created it. Oh, Lord. When God created the woman, so the word um that was used for the woman is Ezher, right? Which means helper, as I said.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Um so Exactly where she belongs. Helping in the kitchen, cooking in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_04 13:01

Because you don't know how. You want to blow spaz out, blow spas out.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

That's not true, because I could make a good kanegisan and uh polyogisao. I just haven't done it in like a year and a half. But that don't mean I can't cook. Yeah. Please carry on. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 13:18

So, so right, the woman is is the helper. The woman is is not a servant, right? Like, we didn't come here to wait on you hand and foot. And so Proverbs 31 is more than just, you know, a wise woman. Like, it's more than just that, right? And so, as a woman, we are wise.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Yes, right?

SPEAKER_04 13:40

We're strong.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Yes, we're influential. At least mine is, right? And so my woman, she really is. I'm not saying it because you're here.

SPEAKER_04 13:50

I don't know. You say it even when I'm not here.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Carry on.

SPEAKER_04 13:56

So I always think of um, I don't think women understand how powerful our influence is when it comes to men, right? Our husbands, for let me be specific, our husbands. Because I ain't trying to ain't no ain't no psychological games here. And why do I say that? I say that because, right, as as husband and wife, if there's anybody in this world that can make you do something, who's it gonna be?

SPEAKER_03 14:27

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 14:28

It's gonna be your wife.

SPEAKER_03 14:29

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 14:30

You know what I'm saying? Like you might not want to, but because your wife asked you to, right? Like you'll do it. And so women have that gift, really, because like how many things have you done because I asked you to, but not because you really wanted to, right? And he'll straight up be like, I don't want to, but because you asked, I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

Yes, I would. So you gotta be real too, bro. I don't want to, but because you said it you need a babe, I got you. Like one of the last things I did was jump on a plane and go all the way and go all the way to Orlando.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

That wasn't for me.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

With for for the baby, for for our then baby. Right. Oh, she's 11 now. And um, you know, you guys should know that I'm afraid of planes. Afraid of flying, not planes. I used to love planes, but afraid of flying. So so but but I we were talking about that a few days ago, where I said, remember I told you I was like, I jumped on that plane because I had no other choice.

SPEAKER_04 15:36

Yeah, he wanted to drive. I wanted to-I'm not driving with a baby because Bingy was one.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

Yeah, and our and our youngest daughter was one at the time. She was she was oh my god, I love her. Let's put it like that. I love her with all my heart. She's still a hot mess. She's still a hot mess. But anyway, yes. There, you're right though, babe. Um, men. Okay, you said that the only person who can get you to do something as a man is your woman.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

If you think about it, when we go to Proverbs, right? Um, King Lemoyle's mom, right? That was a letter basically, or it's basically saying what she's telling him, right? And she's telling him, look, when you have a wife, what are you gonna look for in a woman? Let me tell you, right? This is what you're gonna look for in a woman. And so she goes through and she sits there and tells him every quality that that woman should have, right? And so it wasn't just based off of um physical, right? And she even says, she's like uh, she says um something, I'm paraphrasing, something along the lines of like beauty will fail. Like her beauty is not always gonna be there, right? Like we gon' we gon wrinkle, right? We gon' get skinny, we gon' get fat, we gonna go up and down, like that's that's a woman's body, right? And that's normal. And so she's basically like, get ready, like this is what's gonna happen, right? But if your wife is like this, like you're gonna be good, right?

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Well, you might be on to something, because you are going to be the hottest wrinkled Not wrinkled. You said you said we wrinkle. You're gonna be the hottest wrinkled woman.

SPEAKER_04 17:25

Let me get some Botox.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Uh no, no, thanks. I want to wrinkled.

SPEAKER_04 17:29

Inspired church pastor needs Botox.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

No, she does not, no. But um, to your point, babe, sorry for cutting you off or something silly, but to your point, I can relate to what that lady was saying. Because here she is telling her son what he needs to look for in a woman. In my household, I had it right before me, and it was my mother. See, my mother didn't have to do what she did to her son. My mother just lived like a mother. She was caring, loving, providing in all emotional areas, sweet, kind, anything you can name. My mother was an amazing woman. So, with that being said, she didn't have to tell me, hey, look for a woman like this. I told myself, man, I need to find a woman who would love me the way my mother loves me, but not in a motherly love like I'm the kid. No, but in a love of that support, emotional support that a mother gives. For those that still have their mothers, man, that emotional support that they give you, if you have a good relationship with them, is key. And it made me really be wise when it came to choosing a wife. So I thank God that the woman that the Lord blessed me with, which is my wife right here to my right, he she she is everything that my mother was, and then some. Right? But then when it comes to my father, babe, this is a whole nother side of the story. My father was solely a provider for 20 years. For 20 years, my father was solely a provider. So all he did was provide for the household. And I remember being 20 years old and I was going through a tough time in my life. And I said to myself, I said, yo, I was out here in Ohio visiting my friend, and I was like, you know what? When I go back home to Jersey, I want to get to know my father because I don't know who he is. I felt at 20, I didn't know who he is. I knew he was my father, but I didn't know him. So when he picked me up from the bus station, I started my mission. I started asking him questions about his childhood, and he was taken back from it. But I remember his face saying, huh? Like, why is he asking me this? But he answered them. And that opened the line of communication. See, I had to look for that from my father because of how he was raised. Right? It was how it was how he was raised. He was raised, a father does this, and that's it. The mother takes care of the kids. And I'm like, nah, I'm a daddy's boy though. All I wanted was my father. I'm like, no, I want to I want to know my father. So there's two sides to it.

SPEAKER_04 20:25

Yeah. And I always say, like, you know how good a husband is gonna be, how good of a husband someone will be, um, according to how they treat their mom. Like, I really do feel that. You know what I'm saying? Like, like my boys, I'll just use Eli as an example. He's the oldest. He, that boy, the moment he opens his eyes and he comes downstairs, I'm the first person he hugs.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

The first person he asks, How are you doing? How did you sleep? How was work? Like, whatever it is. Like, he he'll go to a doctor's appointment and he calls me the moment he gets into the car. Okay. And I'm like, Eli, you're coming home. Like, like you could tell me about this later, you know? But that's how he is, right? And so with you, you've always been like how you treat me, you've you were with your mom. Yeah. Right? Except with your mom, you were even worse. But I think it's because she was older. Yeah. So you used to like baby her. Yeah. You know, like he would be like he would be like, it's a pretty or whatever. Like he would always use those words with her.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

I'd be like, what's up with my little black cute thing? Because my mother was dark.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Hey, my little black girl.

SPEAKER_04 21:37

But she used to love it. I was just about to say that she used to love that he would talk to her like that.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

She loved it, man. Yeah. But it's true. Uh and you told me that a few times about me. You said, you know, I could tell that you you I knew you were gonna be a good husband because of how you treat your mom. And Eli, that kid's gonna be. The woman that marries him, she better be good, first of all.

SPEAKER_04 22:04

He's single, ready to mingle.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

He's single, he's not ready to mingle.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

Well, he's about to be 20.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

It don't matter what how old he is. He's not ready to mingle. Don't you dare, little single girls who think uh maybe let me go look him up and see. Forget it. He's off the market. I'm not allowing it.

SPEAKER_04 22:23

Get out of here. He will grow up. Whatever. So my point with that is that us women have more influence over men than we than we know. Yeah. Right? And so.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

Sorry. But there's women that know that.

SPEAKER_04 22:41

Right, and abusers. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

I thank God you ain't like that. Because if she was, we wouldn't have been 13 years married. I think we would have been two days married if I would have caught that I would have bounced.

SPEAKER_04 22:53

Two days is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

No, no, no. That was still in my honeymoon phase. Rock wasn't going. Wait. Rock wasn't going anywhere in the honeymoon phase.

SPEAKER_03 23:07

Continue.

SPEAKER_04 23:11

I don't know how you said weird.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

Maybe after that phase, I would have thought about it. Like, alright, man. Had my fun. Get out of here. Well, look, well, no, no. I got a good point. I'm being silly, but at the same time, good point. I had my fun, but this ain't the one.

SPEAKER_04 23:32

Right.

SPEAKER_02 23:33

No, I know. But it's true. You you find that out sometime in the relationship. You gotta find a hold of. She's because that's manipulation, babe.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Mm-hmm.

unknown 23:45

Whoo!

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Witchcraft. Yeah, it's witchcraft. Manipulation is a form of witchcraft. And when you use manipulation because you know you got the upper hand, you're being devious. That's ungodly. And if you let's say you don't go to church, you still know you're getting upper hand and you feel sneaky about it. That's why you get that sneaky feeling. And women that know that part and abuse it, they're wrong for that, man. But then the men who know that they're using and abusing don't say nothing, y'all wrong for not stepping up.

SPEAKER_04 24:19

Right. If you're not going to be the man, then the woman is gonna feel like she needs to be the man. You see what I'm saying? And so why do I say that? Because it's been there, done that. Right. Like our relationship in the beginning was super hard. Right. Why? Because I was a single mom.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Right.

SPEAKER_04 24:38

So I, and not saying that you weren't acting like the head of the house, but I wasn't willing to give you that.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

But not only that, that's true, you weren't willing. But also, I didn't know what I was doing.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Yeah. You went from single to dad overnight.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Single to dad overnight. So I knew that I was supposed to be a man in a house, but I'm like, what does that really look like with two kids that aren't mine and a woman that already knows how to do everything and don't really leave?

SPEAKER_04 25:11

You didn't know what a godly husband was. No, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

So there's a dip, thank you, babe. There's a difference. There's a father who's a provider, and then there's a man of God who's a provider. Those are two different men. Two different men. They bring the same thing to the table into the family. One is being led by God to do it the biblical way. And that is difficult. So in the beginning of our marriage, I didn't know what that looked like. I knew that I was going to go to be a husband to a woman, but I didn't know what a husband in the Lord looked like.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

So I had a learn we had a very tough learning curve in the beginning, guys.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

And so for men, um, and I don't know if if a lot of men do this or understand the importance of covering your house and your family and your spouse in prayer. And specifically in prayer. Because the reason why I bring that up is because I can feel when you're off.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 26:17

Right? And so there's a there's a big shift, and that it hasn't happened recently, but for I'll use this as an example when his dad, when his dad passed away. There was a huge shift in him spiritually because you were mourning, right? And so I felt that shift. And so when those shifts happen, the house isn't covered, your children aren't covered, your spouse isn't covered, right? And so now as the woman, now I'm head because I have to do what you're unable to do at that time.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Even though that's so good, man. That's good. Good job, babe. Even though the roles never change, but the support has to come from somewhere to keep the family going.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

So my wife saw, like, I he's down, he's grieving, he's mourning. Things gotta keep moving. I have to pick up the slack. And she picked up the slack and let me literally mourn for a year. Or a little bit more than a year, maybe. I I can't remember, but I know it was a year. Let me mourn for a year. Like it was tough for me, but she handled it. And then we got to the point where you started feeling off.

SPEAKER_04 27:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Right?

SPEAKER_04 27:45

Because I couldn't take it anyway. It's like you don't, you think as a woman, and I'm I'm gonna say it, like, as a woman, right? You think like, oh, it's not a big deal, like I could do this dolo, I don't need, but no. Like when you really carrying that for real, for real, like, that's come on, you better talk, baby. Especially that spiritual weight, like, bro, it's it's it's not like it ain't, it's not, it's not not that it's not manageable, but it you get to the point where you're like, bro, I'm done. And I was at that point.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:13

I was at that point where like I can't, I can't anymore.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

And it's like and it's like I woke up and I realized it. Because I'm getting fine, right? At this point, I'm getting fine. And I woke up and I realized, wait a minute, she's off. So I started analyzing and praying, and the Holy Spirit told me that's because she was carrying your weight. The weight you were supposed to carry, she was carrying on her shoulders, and she can't anymore. And he hit me. And then we had that talk, and I'm like, babe, I know why you feel like this. We talked about it, and she really she was like, Wow, that is it. So, you know, you made a very good point. Don't be trying to carry loads that don't belong to you guys. Please. Women don't do it, men don't do it. Just don't carry a load that does not belong to you.

SPEAKER_04 29:02

And it's it's this society, everything is like who's the boss, right? Like, even women, how many women I've heard say, like, oh, he knows who runs the house?

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

Like, to some women, that's a flex. Like, to me, it's not. To me, that's out of order. You know what I'm saying? And it and again, it doesn't come from a place of submission. It comes from a place of respect.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

Right.

SPEAKER_04 29:28

Right? So decisions in our house, it's not Pastor Less and that's it. It's us.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:35

You know what I mean? Like any decision that I need to make, especially if it affects our house, like I'm gonna make that decision with him. Just like you're gonna make decisions with me. Right. Right? Like, um, oh, I wish my husband would tell me I can't. Right? And that why why do I say that? Because that used to be me. Right? Like in the beginning of our marriage. Like, you ain't about to tell me nothing, you ain't my dad. And even if you was my dad, uh still ain't gonna listen to you, right?

SPEAKER_02 30:02

But wait, let me just say, she never told me that, she thought that.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Because she never said that. You could tell, you know, you could tell. Sorry, you could tell that was the swag she had. Right. You know, so I knew she was thinking it, but she never verbally said it.

SPEAKER_04 30:19

But the thing with us, right, and and I'm gonna use us as an example because people have told me this before. For example, um, you don't like that, you don't like me traveling alone, right? Let me just use that as an example. And so someone could be like, oh, you can't go nowhere by yourself. And it's like, yeah, my husband respects me enough to where he's concerned that I go places by myself. You know, so it's like like it's ridiculous how people think.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 30:53

Like another I'm just using random examples, right? I want to go skydiving. Like, that's like a bucketless thing for me, right? And Pastor Leslie's like, you're not going, right? And I get he put the glasses on, I can't, right? And so that's like a bucketless thing for me. And I was like, well, if you go first at 97 years old, I'm gonna go skydiving, right? But I respect him enough to be like, okay, babe, like I understand your fears, right? And so that's cool. Like, I'm not gonna do it because we talked about it, right? It's not like he's like, no, you can't do this, and that's it. You know what I mean? It's it's more or less of him expressing himself, right? And then me as the woman being like, all right, babe, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

It's not from a control complaints at all.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

And this whole who's the boss thing, don't go thinking you could just control your wife because the order it or the husband, because the order is the way it is biblically. Or because you're manipulative, as we spoke earlier, you're the woman, right? And you're manipulative, and you know you're being manipulative, excuse me, and you use that to get your way. Don't go thinking that you know that that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

That's not okay. It's out of order. And let me tell you something boldly: your household will never, never grow. You will never grow. You will always be stagnant. You will never get to the level that God wants your marriage, your house to go to. You guys won't see the blessings that are in store for you if you don't follow that basic, simple principle. Because that's the way it is, right? Getting out of order will never put you in order. You it it doesn't work that way.

SPEAKER_04 32:51

Right. And we're running out of time, so uh we'll bring it in another episode. I want to talk about um how to handle when one person is more spiritual than the other.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

Right?

SPEAKER_04 33:07

That's happened back and forth. Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it now because we could go on a whole a whole tangent on it, right? And we don't want our episodes to be that long. Right. So we're gonna bring that in our next episode. Okay. Is how do you handle when when your spouse is more spiritual than you are?

SPEAKER_02 33:24

Yeah, because that that f real quick, that has happened here. Sometimes it's me, and then sometimes it's her. And we'll we'll get into the we'll get into the details in the next episode.

SPEAKER_04 33:38

Because that also goes into who's the boss.

SPEAKER_02 33:40

Right, yes, it does. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 33:42

Like, we could go on and on, right? But you know, if you're struggling with communication with your spouse, if you're struggling with um being aligned, right? Like, there's so many things that relationship-wise is just it's hard, right? Um, you know, we're here, like we have, we offer marriage counseling, coaching, whatever you want to call it. Um, and so reach out to us. We are more than welcome to set up a call with you and everything like that. Um, you know, because like if there's one thing that we're passionate about is marriages, yes, and that's because ours sucked so bad the first year. Like I don't I every anniversary, I'm like, wow, we really, we really did it. Like we're going on 14 years that we've been together. And it's like if it and I'm not saying that because he's right here, but anybody that knows me knows, right? I can literally be with my husband 24-7 and he doesn't get on my nerves.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

Same thing for me.

SPEAKER_04 34:45

Like, no, I know a lot of people that cannot say that at all. And like, we're together all the time. Like, I'm going to Florida tomorrow with my cousin, and uh she asked me, like, oh, like, is this the first time that you've uh spent the night somewhere else like without lust? And in 13 years, I've only spent the night away two times. Yep. And both of those were work trips. Work work trips, yep. Like twice in 13 years. So that shows you, like, it's not something that we do. Like, we're not like I'm tired of you, I'm gonna go away for the weekend. Like, we don't, everything is like, babe, you wanna go, blah, blah, blah. Like, let's let's roll. Like, that's how our relationship is, but it wasn't always like that.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Right. So we'll get into more details about that in the next episode. And uh, so yeah, like my wife was saying, man, if you guys looking to if there's guys out there that wanna get some coaching on how to handle your position as a man in a marriage, or maybe you're just feeling lost in life and for anything, bro, hit me up. Send us a few more. Same thing with the women, send us a DM and don't hesitate to do it, you know, because the more time you lose on not trying to fix yourself, the more time you stay there. And that that nobody should ever live under those conditions.

SPEAKER_04 36:09

Right. So thank you so much for joining us on week three in a row. I'm very proud of that.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

Week three in a row. Well, I'm very proud of what we've been doing here, man. This is good.

SPEAKER_04 36:19

Oh gosh. We love before The Rock takes over. I love you all. God bless you, and until next time, go ahead, The Rock, continue.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Until next time. Know your roles and shut your mouth. God bless you all.